It’s About Errands, Not Graduation

By: Chelsea Lubbe

I was talking with a friend the other day and I said “It is like every thought I have leads to a bigger idea, and that idea will definitely be a problem for the future.” All roads lead to that day in May, where I will inevitably be wearing an ear to ear smile, diploma in hand, feeling ten pounds lighter because– I did it. Alongside my friend, out of the house, I tell her; I know grocery shopping is essential for me at this time, only I didn’t bring a list or my wallet. At that moment I felt hopelessly separated from my bright future. 

It seems so strange to recall the way my time was spent during my freshman year. Hardwick Hall, my dorm– with the lipstick marks on the mirror. I would get ready for a night out with my friends, praying I wouldn’t forget my dorm key this time. I remember the way we laughed and carried on while they encouraged me to make a real decision and commit to going out that night. The nice thing about having new friends, and learning alongside strangers, is when time passes you can decide if you like your friends, and figure out if your friends like you too. 

I bought myself a beautiful pendant with the thinnest chain my sophomore year. I thought of it as one of the bigger financial decisions I had made that year. To the point of decision making, I thought a duvet would also be super convenient so I opted in for that as well. I thought those would be the biggest investments I made. The larger choice I needed to make my sophomore summer was whether or not I wanted to stay in Philadelphia for the summer and work, or stay at home, with family, and work.

I wanted to go into the city to clear my head, but unfortunately I took the wrong bus and ended up past the Philadelphia Zoo. I had never really used the bus before, and I was really thirsty. So once I was at a crossroads with two gas stations on either side of me, I sat on the bench in between the two, and waited for a bus. 

I used the last of my phone battery to figure out which bus would bring me back to Temple, crossed my fingers that I remembered the bus number right, and hopped on. I got off, then walked five or six blocks. Once I got home, my cat was right where I left her, and I laid down next to her and looked out of the window. 

In my junior year, I went random with roommates, and I moved into a room without any sunlight. The room was underground and the window that was there led to a ladder cemented in concrete. If you climbed it, you would reach the hole in the ground in the backyard. I thought this would be very exciting, except the top of the ladder had a gate that was permanently locked. I loved being underground. I felt so undercover all the time.

My roommate that year had an amazing green thumb and a knack for decorating. The bathroom we shared was amazing. Junior year was a force to be reckoned with, I revisited diaries and struggled to match socks due to my third crash out of the week. Thankfully, I had a friend who was pleased to help with laundry.

That same year, I anxiously cut my heavy, bust length hair, to a layered earring length do- I was reborn. I hadn’t had short hair like it since 6th grade. Back then, I would grow my hair very long, chop it, then donate the ponytail. I really wanted a pixie cut at that age, but the hairdresser told me I had a “cowlick” so the style would look bad on me. 

When I got to the grocery store the other day, during my senior year, after forgetting my wallet, my only task that day was to prepare for the days ahead. Then I remembered that there was a week left of classes and I was going home. So what groceries did I really need right now? I shopped feeling awkward and unfocused, as I didn’t want (or need) to do too much at the store that day. 

After unloading at home, I disputed a wrongfully distributed parking ticket while sipping on my freshly purchased Sprite Cranberry, my first one of the season.

I am hoping that when I go home, after wrapping up my heaviest semester yet, I will know what I want from the grocery store. When I come back. I will have a few meals in mind, list in hand, and my purse with a wallet in it. I figure I will start out with recipes I have gotten comfortable with, and around graduation maybe I will have a new favorite meal for dinner. I have never really been that great at cooking, so we’ll have to see.